I think that there are a few ways to make I do, don't become i don't. From the statistics shown in the previous post, the main reasons for divorce were, unreasonable behaviour of spouse and Having lived apart or separated for three years or more for non-muslim & personality difference, neglect and irresponsibility for muslims.
you can clearly see that there were lack of communication and irresponsibility in the marriage.
In my personal opinions, Firstly, i think that communication is very important. without communicating well, there will be more problems and misunderstanding among couples. and when problems and misunderstandings are not solved, cold war would start and slowly, it will result to living apart, leading to divorce if they are living apart for too long. i think that this shouldn't be the case for married couples as i think that they should be more mature to know that communication is important.
Secondly, i think that responsibility is equally important. when couples get married, they would have mutual trust and thus, i think that couples should uphold this trust their partners have in them and not make use of them. Also, i think that couples should be faithful to each another especially after their marriage. i think that irresponsibility in the marriage shouldn't happen as couples should be mature enough to uphold these values and set a good example for younger generations or even their own children. They should know that their actions have the most impact to their children. on the other hand, i think that it is up to individual to choose if they want to be responsible or not, but i strongly feel that responsibility should be a value everyone should uphold.
Thirdly, i realise that married couples are getting younger and younger these days and that muslim couples are generally younger then non-muslim couples. i feel that young couples are not mature enough to get married. In singapore, if you are under the age of 21 and you would like to get married, Both parents consent is needed. and if you are above 21, you do not need any consent from your parents. since married couples are getting younger these days, it also shows that parents are more open to their child getting married. i think that parents should educate their child properly and not agree to what they are doing as they are not mature to think for themselves yet although they would argue that they are mature enough. If you think about it, if they are really mature enough, they would wait till they are at least 21 before getting married and not get married at a young age. Although i understand that some of them may already be pregnant during their marriage, i think that it still lies back to the responsibility of parents.
Lastly, i think that young married couples should look at things in the long run and not in the short run. personally i have friends who are only together for less than a year and they are already married with a child. They may seem happy for the time being but no one knows what will happen next. i think that young married couples should know their partners better so as to avoid the reason of personality difference. They should have learn to have a mentality of a parent and not a mentality of a child. i think that there is no point to get married early. no one is rushing you to get married or have children at the age of 17 or 18. so why do you want to risk your future by having an early marriage when you could spend a few years thinking through it properly? afterall, is your partner truly loves you, i believe he/she wouldn't mind waiting for a few years to get married officially.
In conclusion, i think that the best way to ensure that "i do" don't become "i don't" is to have proper communication, uphold the value of being responsible and avoid getting married young.
No comments:
Post a Comment