Have you heard the phrase, “I love you but I’m not in love with you,” before? These are some of the hardest words to hear from your spouse in a marriage.
Do not keep secrets from each other. Secrets are never a good thing. Trust becomes very difficult to rebuild once broken. As painful as this situation may be, there are the only two real options to remedy the situation. Sure, some think that they can simply forgive and forget, but with a wound this deep, that’s just not realistic because it is just not possible. Lying and betrayal is way too big of a problem to ignore or simply sweep under a rug. So the learning take away? BE HONEST!
Communicate. I have come to a realization that great communication is one of the most important factors in whether or not a marriage will survive after reading many stories online on the marriage success and marriage failures. Although trust is also at the top of the list, trust will break only after communication starts breaking down. Most couples engage in meaningful conversation less than 15 minutes per week. This is bad, bad news. When couples do not have meaningful conversations, the emotional relationship the couple share tends to be destroyed. Communication break downs occur because you don’t like what the other person is saying. When two people are able to handle a heart to heart conversation, trust-building increases. And when honesty in a relationship increases, you grow more as an individual and closer together. Therefore, the trick trick to a good marriage is to communicate effectively, instead of holding back any unspoken thoughts.
Never put him your significant other in front of others. Even in jest or at an attempt to be playful, his or her self-respect takes a huge blow, as does his opinion of how much he thinks she respects him. Would you put down your boss’ boss in public? Of course not. And why not? Because there is respect for that person. Therefore, it is very important that the same respect is shown for your spouse.
Grow up. Many people take very long to step into adulthood. It is a general trend that people will always want things their way and they continuously think that life is all about them. This is human nature we cannot defy. Problems occur when people don’t realise that the world does not revolve around them. Therefore, when we defy human nature, this gives us the edge over the others. When faced with marriage, individuals are forced to give up their personal space. That’s a simple fact of marriage. To ensure the marriage remains a successful one, it is important to recognize this and harness the energy it creates. Rather than seeing your spouse as someone who doesn’t get you, see them as someone who may want more from you.
Do not keep secrets from each other. Secrets are never a good thing. Trust becomes very difficult to rebuild once broken. As painful as this situation may be, there are the only two real options to remedy the situation. Sure, some think that they can simply forgive and forget, but with a wound this deep, that’s just not realistic because it is just not possible. Lying and betrayal is way too big of a problem to ignore or simply sweep under a rug. So the learning take away? BE HONEST!
Communicate. I have come to a realization that great communication is one of the most important factors in whether or not a marriage will survive after reading many stories online on the marriage success and marriage failures. Although trust is also at the top of the list, trust will break only after communication starts breaking down. Most couples engage in meaningful conversation less than 15 minutes per week. This is bad, bad news. When couples do not have meaningful conversations, the emotional relationship the couple share tends to be destroyed. Communication break downs occur because you don’t like what the other person is saying. When two people are able to handle a heart to heart conversation, trust-building increases. And when honesty in a relationship increases, you grow more as an individual and closer together. Therefore, the trick trick to a good marriage is to communicate effectively, instead of holding back any unspoken thoughts.
Never put him your significant other in front of others. Even in jest or at an attempt to be playful, his or her self-respect takes a huge blow, as does his opinion of how much he thinks she respects him. Would you put down your boss’ boss in public? Of course not. And why not? Because there is respect for that person. Therefore, it is very important that the same respect is shown for your spouse.
Grow up. Many people take very long to step into adulthood. It is a general trend that people will always want things their way and they continuously think that life is all about them. This is human nature we cannot defy. Problems occur when people don’t realise that the world does not revolve around them. Therefore, when we defy human nature, this gives us the edge over the others. When faced with marriage, individuals are forced to give up their personal space. That’s a simple fact of marriage. To ensure the marriage remains a successful one, it is important to recognize this and harness the energy it creates. Rather than seeing your spouse as someone who doesn’t get you, see them as someone who may want more from you.
Till then, folks!
No comments:
Post a Comment